A central Prince Edward Island school’s decision to remove tributes to students who have died has left families questioning the decision, sparked an online backlash, and even made its way to the floor of the legislative assembly.
Valerie Harrington’s son Aidan died in 2016. She says her son was a good student and a dedicated athlete, but jumped to his death while experimenting with psychedelic substances because he believed he could fly.
Aidan went to Kensington Intermediate Senior High, and after his death his friends rallied to name a soccer field in his honour. But now, Harrington said she’s been told the sign carrying Aidan’s name will be coming down. She said the school cited a new Public Schools Branch policy that called for the removal of permanent memorials on school property.
“As a mother, it’s really upsetting from a couple of perspectives,” Harrington said.
“For me, I thought it was such an appropriate memorial for him because he was so involved in the soccer community… but I also feel badly for his friends because this was something they did to remember Aidan and they thought a long time about what would be appropriate.”
Kensington Intermediate Senior High has also decided to remove a tribute wall that includes the names and photos of students and teachers who died while attending or working at the school. Instead, the memorial is being moved online, to the school’s website.
That decision led to dozens of social media posts — including some from family members of those on the wall — as well as an online petition with more than 1,500 signatures as of Wednesday morning.
‘A very difficult topic’
P.E.I.’s Public Schools Branch addressed the backlash on Wednesday.
Acting assistant director Dominique Lecours said the PSB would be seeking feedback on new draft procedures that are based on recommendations from the U.S.-based National Association of School Psychologists and match what’s being done in neighbouring Canadian provinces.
“We all are affected by the passing of students,” she said. “We know it’s a very difficult topic.”
The feedback period will begin Dec. 2. In the meantime, Lecours said the PSB is asking principals to have a conversation with families whose children are currently memorialized to stress the new process “is still aligned to honour and remember those students.”
We’re not trying to erase anything. We’re just trying to find a way that is more aligned with current practice.— Dominique Lecours, Public Schools Branch
She added: “We’re not trying to erase anything. We’re just trying to find a way that is more aligned with current practice.”
Lecours said current research shows that seeing reminders of past deaths every day can be detrimental to the mental health of some students, especially if the loss is recent.
“In our training and in the research with the National School Association of Psychologists, they would say that this can be very difficult, to help students process and heal from the loss of a loved one.”
Considering the potential harm
In a statement to CBC News, the National Association of School Psychologists said it doesn’t make a blanket recommendation to do away with memorials in schools. However, its school safety and crisis preparedness curriculum does include things schools should consider when making policies on such tributes.
“When a tragedy occurs at a school, memorials may be a way for students, staff, and the community to express their grief, normalize feelings, and hear students’ questions,” the statement reads.
With the potential to evoke strong emotions and the possibility of contagion, schools must consider the potential for harm alongside the desire to memorialize a person who has died in the community.— U.S.-based National Association of School Psychologists
“With the potential to evoke strong emotions and the possibility of contagion, schools must consider the potential for harm alongside the desire to memorialize a person who has died in the community.
“Schools must consider several factors, including the cause of death, when setting policy for their communities to minimize harm, support those who are grieving, and acknowledge the impact of the event.”
‘A solution in search of a problem’
Kensington-Malpeque MLA Matthew MacKay raised the issue during question period in the P.E.I. Legislature Tuesday, asking Education Minister Rob Lantz whether he was aware of the Kensington high school’s decision and what actions he planned to take.
Lantz responded that he was made aware of the situation only on Tuesday, and neither he nor Department of Education staff were consulted about the move. But he did pledge to look into the matter with the school’s staff, calling the decision “upsetting” for the families of those featured on the wall.
“It seems like a solution in search of a problem. I honestly can’t understand what we’re trying to achieve by this. It seems like we’re trying to make sure the children don’t encounter anything unpleasant in this life,” Lantz said in the legislature.
“If we’re trying to create resilience in children, which of course we are, there’s going to be obstacles, there’s going to be unpleasant situations.”
Our natural instinct is to protect our kids, but I think we also have to provide them with coping skills for life’s events.— Valerie Harrington, Aidan’s mother
On Wednesday, Souris-Elmira MLA Robin Croucher also rose in the legislature and called the decision “unacceptable” while giving his opening statement.
“Memorial walls are an appropriate and wonderful way to remember those that we loved and the beautiful lives they once lived,” Croucher said. “If we don’t learn and grow from these losses, we will have cheated those who have passed on too young.”
‘It gives us a reason’
As for Aidan’s family, they say they’re left struggling to understand the school’s decision.
“I think that it’s okay that it’s upsetting … I think that, yes, it is a hard topic, but I think that’s what makes it important,” said Hannah Harrington, Aidan’s younger sister.
“I know that it is difficult but maybe there’s a way to approach it where you have more of those hard conversations, more mental health supports lined up, and ways to help deal with this. That doesn’t mean not celebrating those individuals.”
The Harrington family says they would be disappointed to see memorials like Aidan’s taken down.
“I hope all of the memorials get to stay. As parents, our natural instinct is to protect our kids, but I think we also have to provide them with coping skills for life’s events,” Valerie Harrington said.
“I think people can learn from these kids who were leaders and role models in the community, you know, to maybe not repeat their mistakes. And if somebody learns from Aidan’s death and they don’t take those mushrooms, then it gives us a reason for it.”
